A short post today just to tell someone how special he really is.
Last night I got a beautiful letter. It was from TJ thanking me for standing by him. It was beautiful and it made me cry. I think I feel a little like Michelle when Josef thanked her for his incredible life and all she could do was thank him for living it.
It was very sweet. I won’t share his words to me above what has already been shared. What I will share is something I wanted to tell him. Words from my heart that I hope can find the right place. I am not the aurator Michelle is but here’s my attempt at the right words.
I too am in a loss for words . You’ve been here with me for Michelle all this time. It’s been hard and I’ve dumped so much on your shoulders. You’ve been a rock anchoring me here in a ripidly moving river. I’ve seen the falls and the deadly drop and sharp rocks below. But I’ve been safe resting on my rock.
I don’t know where I would be without you and I’m thankful you’re in my life. I know this has been as hard on you as it has on me. Not being able to be here all the time must compound that for you. All the while I’ve been dumping on you. I’ve felt like such a burden.
It’s nice to be reminded I made a difference to you. To anyone for that matter. I haven’t felt very useful lately. This little letter was a giant shot in the arm. It made me smile, it made me cry and it made me read it again.
I wanted to share one of Michelle and I’s conversations. She recorded something in her journal that night, which I’ll also include.
I asked Michelle “How do you stack TJ against other men?”
She said “I don’t. I measure other men against TJ.”
I said “How do they fair?”
She replied “How would any fair stacked against a titan? Most would fail the measure and more would miss the mark. Very few could be the equal.”
I said “Sounds like a pretty high standard.”
She said “Only for those who believe themselves his equal. It’s a measure only legends dare look in the face.”
I agree with Michelle when she says few men stand to as tall as you. If you are the measure of a man then most will stay boys forever.
I know we don’t have the the same intamacy you share with Michelle. That doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t rise a little when I get these little notes. It doesn’t mean what we have isn’t special. You don’t have some of the parts I find desireable but you have a special heart. And that I desire very much.
Thank you for being in my life, for being my rock and thank you for being my man too.
Michelle wrote in her journal that night and I think we both needed to hear them:
“He left me a good morning note. I knew he couldn’t be here when I awoke, but his words are with me always. The sun rises from my pillow, that is where his words and his heart greeted me this morning. That is where my sun rises because it’s where my day began.
I think the veil has parted with Sarah. I believe even she sees the man I adore with eyes open. If we can teach her to listen with her heart she will hear his. And perhaps she will know the incredible man I simply call mine.
What a glorious day!”